Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Should it be left or loved?

I have known that love does not require evidence.. or does it??? If it does then just a piece of proof justifies it? And if it does not then why do we need to justify what we mean?? These questions have been circling my head.. Am i supposed to leave it or adore it?? I dont know !! Yah, this is the state where i am not inclined towards it.. The answer blurred out is "I dont know".. Justifying what i have been yearning for; instead why i have been yearning for it is like punching the dead face with no sentiments of your own.. Hahah.. uh! Does one really need an account for why they have been a loved one to us?

I justified it.. He demanded and i as a crazy lover walked behind.. perhaps weakness made me do it??
Again I dont know.. How long does it take to fall in love wit someone?? 1 week?? 6 months?? 5 years ?? a lifetime or just 24 hours?? Took me 10 mins ! 10 mins and i am prone to this one personality which suited me accordingly..
After 2 years and 4 months, the very same person is demanding which was not worth it... Demands.. wishes.. observations.. luk at all the words, a word which transforms the meaning of what you been trying to say..

Yah.. liking wudn't be enough.. it is love.. Traditional or modern? Is that even a concern in real? Or is it the 3 years difference which makes one feel that she aint thinking right?? What is it?? Why is it?? Isn't that word "love" supposed to be what it really should be?? Is decision making an issue?? What the heck is the case after all??
I have just been chasing my heart.. Chasing him so that i could own him?? And he asks for evidence.. Waa !
Nope, does not paranoid me, however such words from a darling happen to be astounding; coz i dont anticipate such?

Just one desire to be fulfilled was the condition.. It was made a big deal.. The perception might was fallacious, was that the same with intentions?? Trust, got a part in the conversation too.. Yah, staying one for him was a big deal i suppose.. Forgotten times when drunk him uttered the sober words? Forgotten times when the only tune i hummed was him gasping? Forgotten the times, when we talked and every time we did, every time i heard your voice, i had a feeling which made me close my fist and exhale? Forgotten the times, when i cancelled my plans just to converse with this one damn person?? Are these times forgotten when my 1st priority was him and then other events, people.. however he forced me to categorize em as 1st.. And i was the one not trustworthy when all i have been is loyal? Times when i filled my diary with your name.. with your notes, just because i wanted it to be a part of my recognition? And you talk trust..

You may not find any good in this generation, but this one me is ultimate.. Often times, ones who are dear to you.. intentionally; unintentionally break your trust.. But I would never dare to do that.. Because now you have been allotted something really precious - My Humanity.. My compassion.. And i so believe that i do not have to put myself to a test for anybody.. I anticipate that if you could be the best one on this planet.. then i am so much better than this public out there too.. I form my own reality.. and I; Latika Sareen wont bother to distressed anybody out of emotions... Yah, that is how you trust someone.. My foot. !! Your belief in me should have been a little firm so that the guilt of you offending me was to a lower level.. but i Still assume that miracles do happen.. Be it distance or other matter, what is meant to be would fit into each other somehow..

My questions stays identical to previous one.. Should it be abandoned or loved to the fullest..?? Just to convince myself.. My mind is not able to take over my heart.. Emotions, getting me the wrong path..
Oh love is thee !

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Its a Journey to be continued..

I remember i was 10, clamoring and weeping while screeching  : "Mummy, you cant go, you cant leave your kids and reside in a place where you wont find satisfaction".. those days were something when she was feeble; helpless because she was trynna snatch a good life for her kids in this material world. We were too small to understand such talks, yahh.. It was meant to be an "Understanding Plight" where i lacked brain.. I was 10.
Growing up was a big task handed over to me, t' was a bundle of authorities to be concerned about.. Again, i was just 10 years old..

11..12..13.. Moved on.. Until 16 i remained an infant.. However should i term it as a wish or a fulfilled desire that the matter I have wished for until now in my life, nothing has gone in vain.. Those efforts to get things done, even as a child were priceless.. Some excitements take your breath away; perplex you; astound you; while some just pass by your mind and claim that "you are worthy of all this".. Isnt that beautiful? I mean, such a unique clutch you get a hold onto and it stays.. it does stay.. for long..

Dad used to stay with me in our house, Delhi.. While he used to sing me lullabys and narrate stories, mummy was busy pondering over her kid's snapshots. It was another moment that seized my heart..
The love, the affection, the care.. nothing is bullshit unless you really close your eyes and mean each and every word of the insult.. I have always supposed my parents to be the greatest like every othr child. Am i not blessed to have them; ones  who admire you every moment.. ones who take care of your unexpressed feelings.. ones who support you when you limp.. delightful!!

Its being carried on.. It is, truly.. the same sensation of cherishing them.. all.. myself.. and you!

Its a mixed packet of spices.. nevertheless am just gazing at the brightest color.. I amm...